starting a new life

trying,trying,trying...... trying my very best to start a very new life...... trying to adapt a life without anything to support myself........ trying my best to study and get the best results........ but i noe tat i m not that kind of material to be in jc....... but today i had been pressurize by my cousin again...... she told me tat no matter wat i had to go to jc if not, i will haf to go wk....... i lead i very different life without my aunt....... with my aunt, they will nvr try to force or pressurize me to do anything which i dun like....... now i had to adapt it....... i dunno how to be a a person who can blend nicely into the society...... i think i will surely die if i was left out there without any help or support....... now i m wondering again..... HOW THE M I GOIN TO START NEW LIFE?!!!!!!! I MIGHT AS WELL DIE!!!!!!