depression has overtake my life

nvr in my life, i had depression..... i hate my life....... i lost the most important thing in my whole life!!!!!!!! the 1 and only photo tat i had took with my benefactor, my aunt..... i rack my bloody damn brain but i still couldnt find that photo....... nobody in my family noes that i got depression cos i didnt decide to tell........ i tryin to keep it to myself but i couldnt........ i had aready tell 3 of my friends........ they r kind enough to cheer me up....... so not to disappoint them, i at least try to force myself to smile......... sum ppl may think that i m crazy( which i think i m)........ it was the only support of my life and i jus couldnt keep it safely........ i m really bloody clumsy and stupid......... i try not to stress myself out but i still fail...... i really dunno wat to do with my life.......... i hate ppl tellin me their secrets........ i dun even noe who to tell....... if i only have the chance to kill myself........ btw when u r giving my any comments....... pls do list a few kinds of killing myself......... thks..........